A city trip with kids isn't like the beach—4 things to know before you go

As a former New Yorker, you’d think I’d be a pro at navigating cities with my kids. A recent family trip to San Francisco proved quite the opposite. 

I know why. When I had children, I never stopped traveling. But I changed how I did it.

Before kids, my husband and I went on far-flung urban adventures in places like Reykjavik, Stockholm, Bangkok, and Sydney. But once we welcomed our daughters, we realized the best trips are slower paced in beachy locales that best cater to them.

Our girls have traveled to Mexico, multiple Hawaiian islands, and all around the U.S., but their city trips have been limited to quick stints in LA where we visited friends, and one disastrous side trip to Brooklyn before a friend’s wedding. On that one, our visions of visiting old haunts vanished in the rain that made walking around a nightmare, while battling inevitable sickness and a blowout diaper in the middle of our favorite Polish restaurant with no changing table. 

After that fiasco, we doubled down on family-friendly tropical resorts and it’s served us well. But when a family event called us to San Francisco, we had to adjust our preferences.

We got this, I thought. It wouldn’t be that bad.

Well, it wasn’t bad, but it would have been a heck of a lot better if I did four things differently.

1. I chose my hotel based on convenience, not my kids’ interests. We stayed at The Marker Union Square San Francisco. I chose it for its excellent reviews and the fact that we could book a large two-room suite for under $200 per night. But I didn’t consider whether the hotel would appeal to my kids. The room was comfortable and spacious, but the property lacked amenities that would have made downtime easier. For example, other family members stayed in a hotel with an arcade their kids loved. That would have come in handy when my youngest napped and I wanted to distract my older daughter out of the room. Other friends brought their kids to the Four Seasons San Francisco, and if you’re not aware, the Four Seasons brand always treats kids like royalty with free gifts, surprises, and inclusions (that was certainly our experience with them on Maui). In hindsight, a hotel more geared to families—just like we pick when we travel to tropical places—could have helped us avoid unnecessary screen time and “I’m bored” declarations.

2. I wish I stayed in a different neighborhood. I don’t usually think much about neighborhoods when going on beach breaks, aside from proximity to the ocean. But in cities, it’s a different story. Having lived in 5 different neighborhoods in NYC over 10 years, I should have known better. In San Francisco, we stayed in Union Square, which is a major tourist area that was conveniently located to things we had planned with family over the weekend. However, there was nothing interesting to do with a two and four year old within close walking distance. Other family members who stayed in Fisherman's Wharf remarked on how much their kids enjoyed seeing the seals or riding the ferris wheel. If I were to do it again, I’d pick a more family-friendly neighborhood.

3. I didn’t plan meals ahead of time. On tropical trips, I don’t often reserve meals. I like to go with the flow and choose where to eat based on how my kids are feeling at the time. It works in laidback places, but not major cities. On our first night, after a long day of travel, we wanted to eat within walking distance of our hotel, only to find every place booked up. We schlepped our kids from maitre’d to maitre’d and were repeatedly turned away, until we found space in a Thai restaurant. Only after the water was poured did I realize we inadvertently brought our tired, cranky, hangry, loudly whining children to an upscale Michelin-starred restaurant. I covered my face in shame as I shoveled scoops of BYO-macaroni and cheese onto their plate from a container hidden in my lap and requested soy sauce for my toddler’s rice. I should have consulted Opentable ahead of time, or better yet, stuck with takeout in the room.

4. I didn’t research enough. I’ve been to San Francisco more times than I can count—as an adult. With kids, it was plenty different. In the past, my husband and I would just look up the best way to get from point A to B on public transit and figure it out on the fly. With two kids, two strollers, and nap time, that premise was unrealistic. On walks, I didn’t think about how hard it would be to push strollers up hills, and got stuck uncomfortably out of breath on multiple occasions. And I made the naive assumption they’d just enjoy the sights of Chinatown without a specific destination in mind. Even an impromptu gelato treat ended in tears when familiar flavors didn’t taste the same as traditional ice cream. I realized that even as a seasoned traveler, if my kids were in tow, I’d be better off approaching any urban trip as a novice might.

Our trip was memorable, though I hope the next one is back to a beach. What about you, do you enjoy visiting cities with kids? Share your tips if so!

Talk + travel soon,
Emily

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